When students only want to work with friends

Manal Raoui  |  manalraoui.com

The teacher announces the groups, and objections begin before the task does: “I won't work with him,” or “I want to be with my friends.” A student may change seats without agreement or refuse to engage with a member. Teasing and provocation can develop among students who do not get along. Friends can also distract one another through joking or arguments. Moving seats, protests, calls for the teacher, and disputes soon make the whole classroom harder to organize.

Friendships are not the difficulty. The problem arises when personal loyalties determine whether students can work together. One rejection or dispute can stop a group and spread disruption, consuming time and effort intended for learning.

Changing the groups or asking students to respect one another may calm the moment. Yet difficulties can return in another grouping, including among friends. The teacher remains responsible for regulating interactions whenever they obstruct the work.

Students need to learn to work with classmates they have not chosen. The task can become their common basis: listen to others, address an idea or behavior without insulting the person, and maintain boundaries that allow cooperation to continue despite different personal relationships.

Working with different classmates opens access to ideas and ways of thinking beyond a student's usual circle. The group gains from varied contributions and becomes less dependent on friendship for its ability to function.

Students need not become friends, and actual insults or exclusion must still be addressed. Friendship is neither a prerequisite for joint work nor a guarantee that it will succeed. Students need ways to work together without personal loyalties controlling whether cooperation is possible.

Prepare each student before announcing groups

“When I work in a group” is a visual aid that shows students working together while addressing each learner individually, before they know their group.

It first draws attention to how some tasks benefit from different ideas and perspectives. It then helps students consider how to participate so that those differences become resources for the work.

The aim is to make students more able to begin with different classmates, and groups easier to form without organizational difficulty starting as soon as members are announced.

Give the reminder before group allocation

Before announcing a new grouping, the teacher can briefly return to the aid:

“When you know your group, how will you join its work?”

Or: “What will you do to help the task begin and continue?”

Then announce the groups. The timing matters: students are prepared to enter the work before the teacher has to respond to objections individually.

Signs of progress

Enthusiasm for every grouping or an absence of discomfort is not required. Look for students who:

• move into groups with fewer objections or negotiations about membership;
• change seats or request transfers less often after the announcement;
• begin working with the members present;
• listen to different ideas and engage with them without ridicule or insults;
• continue working even when interactions do not unfold as they would prefer.

The most meaningful sign is a growing ability to enter a group they did not choose and begin without the teacher needing to rearrange membership to make cooperation possible.

Introduce support to the class and add help where needed

Introduce this support to the whole class before forming groups. Return to it during work if difficulty arises. A preliminary reminder may be enough for some students; others will need additional help after the task begins.

Explore the strategy in depth: Finding learning value in working with others